


The Golden Eye

by CastleFall



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Assassination Plot(s), Canon Compliant, F/F, F/M, For the most part, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Spirits, Younger Sibling OC, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, diaries, fuck you ozai, mostly told from Zuko's perspective, underground resistance group
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-01-01 07:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18331511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastleFall/pseuds/CastleFall
Summary: Everyone in the palace knew that Princess Killarra was an interesting child. She’d been born sickly and weak on the day of black sun. The doctors told the then Prince Ozai and Princess Ursa that their third child was certain to die during the night. But the apparently stubborn child refused to succumb and in the early hours of the morning, she began to cry for the first time.The story of the youngest child of Ozai and Ursa, Killarra and her role in bringing an end to the Fire Nation's tyranny.





	1. Killarra of The Fire Nation

**Author's Note:**

> Had this floating around in my head for a while. I love Avatar: The Last Airbender and thought 'hey why not start writing something and see where it goes from there?'

Everyone in the palace knew that Princess Killarra was an interesting child. She’d been born sickly and weak on the day of black sun. The doctors told the then Prince Ozai and Princess Ursa that their third child was certain to die during the night. But the apparently stubborn child refused to succumb and in the early hours of the morning, she began to cry for the first time. 

A few days later it was deemed safe for her older siblings, Zuko and Azula, to see her. When the baby was placed into her brother’s arms, she opened her eyes for the first time. Beautiful, golden eyes like her mother. She gurgled and patted Zuko’s face, especially his cheeks. 

Over the years Killarra, while still susceptible to relapses of illness, grew into a generally healthy young girl. She and Zuko grew close, often spending time together. They made up stories about the various paintings about the palace. All the servants remarked about how creative and imaginative the two siblings were. By contrast Killarra appeared to dislike Azula immensely. The two girls always seemed at odds with each other. More often than not they’d get in an argument that they turned to either Ozai or Ursa to solve. Killarra had an interesting way of arguing though. While Azula fought back with biting comments or bringing up past mistakes, Killarra usually kept a more passive aggressive tactic. 

Soon it was found out that Killarra could firebend, although not in excess as it quickly tired her out. Immediately something odd about her firebending was noticed. The flames she produced were white. Ozai wanted her to be tested to discover the meaning of this but both Killarra and Ursa refused. Her uncle and Ozai’s brother, Iroh, agreed. Due to this Ursa made her promise to never firebend around anyone other than Zuko or herself. She also made her promise to only use it to protect, not destroy. 

Killarra promised. But little more than two years later, that promise would be put to the test. 

\------------------------------------ 

She was nine and Zuko was eleven. Their Uncle Iroh had been gone for over 600 days at Ba Sing Sei, and so had their cousin, Lu Ten. They’d just gotten a letter and some packages from Iroh and Ursa was reading it allowed to them. 

“If the city is as magnificent as it’s wall, Ba Sing Sei must be something to behold. I hope you all may see it someday, if we don’t burn it to the ground first.” They all had to laugh at that, “Until then, enjoy these gifts. For Zuko, a pearl dagger from the general who surrendered when we broke through the outer wall. Note the inscription and the superior craftsmanship.” 

Zuko pulled the knife out of the shaft and smiled, “Never give up without a fight.” Ursa continued with the letter. 

“For Azula, a new friend. She wears the latest fashion for Earth Kingdom girls. And for Killarra, a notebook to write down all your marvelous stories.” Killarra gingerly picked up the book and held it close to her chest. She grinned at Zuko, who was busy practicing fighting with his new dagger. He paused for a moment to smile back at her before going back to his pretend battle. 

“If Uncle doesn’t make it back from war, then Dad would be next in line for Fire Lord, right?” Azula asked, holding her doll by it’s head. 

“Azula we don’t speak that way.” Ursa reprimanded, “It would be awful if Uncle Iroh didn’t return. And besides, Fire Lord Azulon is a picture of health.” 

“How would you like it if cousin Lu Ten wanted Dad to die?” Zuko supplied. 

“I still think our dad would make a much better Fire Lord than his royal, tea loving kookiness.” Azula huffed. 

“No, he wouldn’t.” Killarra scowled at the ground, then glared at her sister. 

“What makes you say that?” Azula raised an eyebrow while the doll burned in her hand. 

“Father is not fit for a throne.” Killarra then picked her notebook up and left the room. Leaving Ursa looking worriedly after her youngest daughter, what did she see in Ozai that no one else apparently did? 

\----------------------------------------------

A couple weeks later they were playing in the garden. Well, Azula and Zuko were. Killarra was sitting with Ursa, trying to paint the royal family all together. A servant came up to them and handed Ursa a letter. When she read it her face went pale and she stood suddenly. This startled Killarra into drawing a line over Ozai’s eyes, but she hardly noticed. She saw the tears in her mother’s eyes as she called the other two over. 

“Iroh has lost his son. Your cousin, Lu Ten, did not survive the battle.” Ursa hung her head in sorrow. 

Silence was the only answer she got. 

\----------------------------------------------

That night, the three children were alone in one of the family rooms. Zuko was once again playing a fake battle with an invisible opponent while Azula and Killarra watched. The youngest child had put the ruined painting away for now, maybe she’d throw it away or maybe she’d keep it. She didn’t know. As Zuko’s pretend fight apparently ended Azula called out, 

“You waste all your time playing with knives. You’re not even good.” 

“Put an apple on your head and you’ll find out how good I am.” Zuko shot back. 

“Uncle’s coming home.” Killarra interjected, sharing information Ursa had told her earlier. 

“Does that mean, we won the war?” Zuko asked hesitantly. 

“No. It means Uncle is a quitter and a loser.” Azula laughed. 

“What are you talking about?” Zuko scowled. 

“Uncle’s not a quitter.” Killarra mumbled. 

“Oh yes he is. He found out his son died and he fell apart.” Azula tilted her head with her mouth twisted into her signature smirk, “A real general would stay and burn Ba Sing Sei to the ground, not lose the battle and come home crying.” 

“How do you know what he should do?” Killarra said in an unusually loud voice, “He probably just sad his only kid is gone...forever.” As if on cue Ursa swept in the doorway and announced, 

“Your father has requested an audience with Fire Lord Azulon. Best clothes, hurry up.” Killarra ran from the room and back to her chambers, eying the notebook Iroh had given her but she still had yet to use. On a whim she tucked it and an ink pen under her arm and went back out to her mother. 

\------------------------------------------

The audience consisted of Ozai showing off Azula. It made Killarra sick. Ozai and Azula were the same person. Cold. Calculating. Manipulative. Power hungry. Why didn’t anyone else see? Was she really the only one who knew their true nature? Killarra was broken out of her thoughts by Fire Lord Azulon’s thundering voice. 

“Prince Ozai, why are you wasting my time with this pomp?” He asked, “Just tell me what you want. Everyone else, go.” Killarra followed Zuko and Azula out, but stopped to look over her shoulder to glance suspiciously at Ozai. She already knew what he was going to ask. Zuko took her hand and led her to a curtain where the three of them were going to eavesdrop on the conversation. 

“Father, you must have realized as I have that with Lu Ten gone Iroh’s bloodline has ended. After his son’s death my brother abandoned his siege at Ba Sing Sei and who knows when he will return home?” Ozai began, “But I am here, Father, and my children are alive.” 

“Say what it is you want.” Fire Lord Azulon demanded. 

“Father, revoke Iroh’s birthright.” Despite having expected this, Killarra still felt a pang of shock at it being said so bluntly, “I am your humble servant, here to serve you and our nation. Use me.” 

“You dare suggest I betray Iroh?” Fire Lord Azulon stood angrily, “My first born? Directly after the demise of his only beloved son? I think Iroh has suffered enough! But you, your punishment has scarcely begun!” At this Zuko sprinted away from the curtain, but Azula and Killarra stayed, “Your punishment should fit your crime. You must know the pain of losing a first born, by sacrificing your own!” Killarra couldn’t hear anymore. She too sprinted from the curtain and towards her room. She looked down at the painting with the black streak over Ozai’s eyes. She took her ink and colored all of him black, taking the time to do the same to Azula as well. She reached under her bed for a knife she’d smuggled from the kitchen. All she had to do now was wait. 

Killarra waited until nightfall, when most of the servants were asleep. She crept along the corridors until she came to her parent’s bedchambers. To her surprise, only Ozai was in the bed, sound asleep. She silently padded over to the bedside, glaring down at him. How dare he betray Uncle Iroh!? How dare he make a grab for power, now of all times!? How dare he threaten Zuko!? How dare he!? How dare he!? 

She raised the knife high in the air above her head, ready to end his life then and there. But a hand wrapped around her wrist, whirling her around and bringing her into a warm embrace. Killarra tensed before recognizing it was her mother. She lowered the knife and let her lead her out into the hallway. 

“Mother, Father is going to-” She began. Ursa put a finger over her lips and nodded. 

“I know. But he isn’t going to do it.” 

“What do you mean? What’s going to happen to Zuko?” Tears formed in her eyes, her hands shaking. 

“Your father will be the next Fire Lord, and Zuko will live. But…” Ursa hesitated, “I won’t be able to be with you anymore. You know I love you, Killarra. I’m doing this for you. For all of you.” She wrapped her arms around her youngest daughter once more, whispering in her ear, “No matter what, do not use your firebending. And protect Zuko from your father and your sister. I love you so much….” 

That was the last thing she remembered before waking up in Zuko’s room….and to an entirely different world.


	2. New World

Two years had passed since then. Killarra wrote in the journal Iroh had given her every day. Recording noteable events as they passed. Things like how her fath- no- Ozai had become more and more abusive towards Zuko. Constantly finding something to berate him about. And yet….it seemed like she and Azula could do no wrong. Why father doted Azula she never knew but she had an idea as to why he never picked on herself. He still saw Killarra as a sickly and weak child. No one dared to lay a hand on someone who could fall seriously ill at any time. 

But that didn’t stop her from becoming stronger. 

Killarra had persuaded Zuko into teaching her basic firebending moves and perfected them in her spare time. It had taken her so long though, six months just to get the first move just right. And even then it was much more intense than it should’ve been. She’d almost set the back of the palace on fire one night. Maybe she should ask Zuko to teach her the breathing exercises too. She’d always glossed over those. Killarra knew that she should teach herself proper control but that would take even more time and she was not patient. 

She set her brush down and gave a sigh too heavy for an eleven year old to make. Her current painting was one of the characters that she and Zuko had created when they were young. It was a girl with long black hair, her eyes closed. In her pale hands she held the sun. Her deep red robes flowed around her like water. She’d gotten much better than when she was younger. Mainly because she could hardly stand to leave her room anymore. The only people she could be around for long periods of time were Zuko and Iroh. 

Killarra stood up from her easel upon hearing footsteps approaching her room. The door opened with a quiet squeak. Zuko slipped inside, a ridiculous grin on his face. 

“What’s got you so excited?” Killarra giggled. 

“I think today’s the day I finally sit in with Father at the war meeting!” Zuko beamed. Her smile faltered, but only slightly. 

“You must be excited then.” She looked down at her feet. Her heart began to race, making her feel a little unsteady. 

“Well, yeah.” Zuko shrugged, “If I’m going to be Fire Lord someday I have to know what goes on in there.” 

“I-I guess.” Killarra clutched at her head, feeling a migraine coming on. 

“Woah, Larra you okay?” Zuko asked. Her vision blurred like a telescope out of focus. She leaned against her brother, body suddenly too heavy for her feet, “I’m calling the doctor.” She barely even nodded before her world descended into darkness. 

Killarra awoke with a pressure on her chest. Dammit, she had managed to fall ill again. She felt cold yet she knew her skin was covered in sweat. It was hard to breath and move but she forced herself to sit up. Zuko sat next to her, clad in the classic Agni Kai attire. He took her small hand, giving it a squeeze. 

“What is it?” The princess asked. 

“I...I challenged one of the generals to an Agni Kai.” He said quietly, “We’re going to fight in a few hours.” 

“W-why?” 

“They were going to sacrifice a group of soldiers. I couldn’t allow that. They pledged their allegiance to us and that is how they were going to thank them!?” 

“I see. You don’t have to say anymore.” 

Zuko nodded and appeared to force a smile. Killarra laid back down and closed her eyes. 

Fire. White, fire. All around her. But she feels no heat. She feels almost...cold. She looks down to see the entire earth below her, bathed in her light. People of all nations walk around in harmony. There are no soldiers in sight. No war to divide them. It was... beautiful. Killarra searched the faces and recognized herself among them. Only she wore no royal garments, only simple, green peasant clothing. Her raven hair flew freely in the breeze up in a ponytail. And she looked happy. Happier than she’d been in a long time. 

Killarra started awake for no apparent reason. In her heart she knew something was wrong. The palace was quiet. Too quiet. From the position of the sun she could tell only an hour or two from when she’d fallen back asleep. The Agni Kai was probably underway. She had to be there! She wasted no time jumping off the bed and dashing out into the hallway. As she did so she startled a few servants milling nervously outside her room. She paid no mind to them, she had other things to focus on. 

The hallways shot past in a blur. She knew from watching several generals fight that the place was near the throne room. She saw the doors and sped up considerably. And yet once she reached them she found herself skidding to a stop. Her breath came in short gasps. Her legs were weak and wobbly from her illness and sudden flight. Determination and fear mixed in her mind making her heart race. Then, she heard her brother speak. 

“I won’t fight you.” He won’t fight...who? 

“You will learn respect.” Ozai’s voice thundered even through the thick doors, “And suffering will be your teacher.” Killarra had heard enough. She pushed open the doors as Ozai unleashed a wash of fire at the left side of Zuko’s face. As her brother screamed she found herself crying out as well. Hundreds of eyes landed on the youngest princess in the doorway. She sensed their shock at her presence, especially Ozai’s. Killarra ran towards Zuko, lifting him up into her arms. 

“Zuko!” She gasped at the extensive burns on his face. Ozai took a step forward as if to comfort her. She jerked back and glared at him, “STAY AWAY FROM US! YOU DID THIS TO HIM!” The fire that surrounded the ring leapt up and brightened, “Get away from me.” She growled. When Ozai remained where he was she bared her teeth and shouted, “GET AWAY FROM ME!!” 

“Killarra.” Uncle Iroh’s calm and soothing voice came from behind. She turned with tears in her eyes, “Calm down. He will be alright.” He knelt down and made a motion to take Zuko from her. This only made her hold him tighter, “I’m not going to hurt him.” Her eyes flickered towards Ozai, Iroh noticed, “Brother, I would advise you leave. You’re agitating her.” 

“Very well.” Ozai frowned, but left with a majority of the occupants in the room. 

“He’s gone, Killarra, you may relax.” Iroh reached for his nephew again. This time she let him take him without struggle. She just kind of sat there, in shock. 

“Why….he was supposed to fight a general why was fath….Ozai in the ring?” She whispered. 

“He was always supposed to fight your father.” 

\-----------------------------------------

The doors to the throne room burst open with a loud bang. Whomever had decided to interrupt Firelord Ozai’s meeting with Iroh before he left with the banished prince was angry. And angry she was. 

“How could you!?” Killarra growled in a voice no one had ever heard. Ozai was shocked into silence, but Azula wasn’t. 

“Brother was weak, Killarra.” She scoffed, “He didn’t deserve to stay after such a shameful display.” 

“You’re the one that’s weak, Azula.” Killarra glared first at her sister, then settled her gaze onto her father, “Both of you.” 

“You know that’s hilarious coming from you!” Azula stood so she was in her sister’s face. 

“Azula!” Iroh snapped, ready to intervene at any moment. Killarra put up a hand to stop him and asked calmly. 

“What do you mean by that?” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Azula laughed, “You’re weak. Always have been, always will be. I guess that’s why you stuck around him. The weak gather in groups after all.” 

“Oh really?” Killarra raised an eyebrow almost mockingly, “In that case, I challenge you to an Agni Kai for your disrespect.” Ozai stood, his shocked expression turning to one of concern. 

“Killarra you can’t be serious!” 

“I am perfectly serious.” She returned her attention to a smug and smiling Azula, “Tomorrow, first light. You know the place.” With that she twisted around and stalked out of the room, slamming the doors shut behind her. Azula left the room shortly afterwards, leaving the two brothers in a stunned silence. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Killarra hadn’t expected Azula to play so perfectly into her hands. Word around the palace spread quickly that the two princesses were set to dual at first light. Several servants cautiously entered her chambers, asking why. 

She’d only given them this reply, “Azula said something she’ll soon regret.” 

Eventually Iroh came in, concern flashing in his eyes. 

“Are you sure this is the only way to settle this conflict?” He asked. 

“This isn’t the only thing this dual will resolve. Father, Zhao, and all the other generals will be there.” Killarra took up a knife and approached a painting she’d done of the royal family before her mother had disappeared, “This will be my revenge for Zuko’s banishment, by taking down Azula; then leaving myself.” 

“You don’t mean-” 

“Tomorrow I plan on leaving the Fire Nation. I will publicly renounce my title.” She used the knife to cut a line through the painting separating her and Zuko from the other three, “I know Father told you to come talk to me. Don’t tell him anything of this.” 

“What about your brother? You do know we leave tonight.” Iroh hung his head as if ashamed. 

“I don’t know..” Her voice turned sad, the knife clattered to the floor, “Tell him what you like. He deserves to know at least.” 

“As you wish, Killarra.” Iroh said softly, then left. Killarra fell to her knees in front of the torn painting, shoulders shaking with unshed tears. All those years of hiding her pain and grief pushed upon her. 

“This is all your fault, Ozai.” She growled, “If you hadn’t wanted the throne so badly, Mother would still be here.”


	3. Princess No More

The next morning as the sun peeked above the horizon the two princesses met in the arena set aside for this moment. Killarra had her hair pulled back fully in a bun, dressed in the standard Agni Kai uniform. Azula was dressed in a similar fashion. Most of the servants and just about all of the generals had shown up to see it. 

Killarra glanced out of the side of her eyes at the crowd. She could practically hear their thoughts. They were wondering what was going on in her mind. What was she thinking, challenging her older, more competent sister to an Agni Kai. As far as any of them knew, her firebending skills were slim to none. 

Little did they know, they were all wrong. 

Someone announced the match was to begin. Both girls stood up, the cloth covering their shoulders falling away. They each made their way towards each other. Azula still had that smug smile on her face. As much as she’d like to have made the same expression Killarra kept her face void of any emotion at all. Killarra took a defensive stance. Azula whipped around, sending a blast of blue fire at her head. She dodged that one, and another one her sister sent her way. One came at her especially fast, the only way to dodge it was to dissolve it. Quickly she put her arms in front of her in an X, bending the flames away from her body. Killarra decided it was her turn to attack. Channeled her focus onto her hands and feet, using her left foot to send a large wave of white fire towards Azula. The older girl barely had time to dodge it before she sent another one with her right foot. The flames surrounding the arena began to burn brighter, they themselves turning white. Azula countered by sending a blast of fire at her left foot. This time Killarra did not have time to move away. She gasped and stepped back as the fire left it’s mark around her ankle. It hurt like nothing she’d ever experienced before. She couldn’t put much weight on it at the moment. But she couldn’t back down now. Azula sent another blast her way, this time she was able to bend it away. Her sister repeated this process three more times. It didn’t end any differently. It was beginning to annoy her and it showed. The smug smile was gone, replaced by a frown. Both girls were beginning to breath hard. Killarra could feel a headache beginning and faint buzzing in her limbs. 

It was time to end this. 

Running her hands along the ground, Killarra conjured up a wave of fire much bigger than the others. She sent it at Azula with an angry shout. It was with satisfaction that she saw her sister stumble and fall out of the ring. Before she could get back up Killarra was above her, her fist inches from her face. 

“Yield Azula.” She commanded. The older girl made a move to sit up, but a blast of fire next to head made her freeze and growl. 

“Fine, little sister.” Azula sneered, “I. Yield.” 

Killarra straightened and looked around the room at the crowd. Almost every face was painted in shock and disbelief. Every eye was trained on her. Taking a deep breath, she reached up and grasped her crown. 

“I assume I have everyone’s attention.” She walked to the center of the ring, wincing as she put weight on her burned foot. She turned to face Ozai, looking him straight in the eyes with as much anger as she could fit into her expression, “From this day on I am no longer your daughter. I am no longer a princess. I no longer belong to the Fire Nation.” With that she pulled her crown off her head, throwing it to the ground. Ozai rose to his feet, looking like he was about to object but she cut him off, “You will sit and listen to what I have to say! You think you were right in challenging my brother to an Agni Kai? Well you weren’t! It was wrong!” 

“That is enough Killarra!” Ozai roared, “Stop this at once!” 

“Shut up!” Killarra snapped, “If it weren’t for you mother and Zuko would still be here!” She turned away, tears in her eyes, “If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be leaving.” 

The (former) princess walked out of the room. 

That was the last time the Firelord saw his youngest daughter. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took about two or three days for her servants to secure a ship and enough supplies to last them a while. It was fine though. Killarra needed the rest. Her foot needed the rest. She knew she’d probably have a scar there. As she boarded her ship she felt Azula’s stare pierce the back of her head. However she didn’t look back. She neither needed or wanted to see her sister again. 

“Welcome aboard your highness.” The captain bowed as she exited the gangplank. 

“Please, Killarra will do just fine.” She bowed back at him, “Thank you for agreeing to be my captain at such short notice.” 

“It’s an honor…” He paused, “..Killarra.” She smiled softly at him, then turned to the rest of the crew. 

“It is up to you where we go and how fast you want to get there. As long as it’s away from here, I really don’t care.” She closed her eyes, feeling her lip tremble, “I will trust your judgement as much as I am able.” 

“As you wish.” The first mate bowed, then the rest of the crew. 

“Would you like to see your quarters before we cast off?” The captain asked. 

“That would be lovely, thank you.” 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Killarra did not want to watch as the ship left port. She didn’t not want to see the place she’d grown up in disappear into nothing. As much as she said she hated it a part of her cried out in protest of that statement. She only hated Ozai and Azula and their influence on the people. The place had nothing to do with it. 

Her hair was down to her shoulder like a wave of pure black water. She sat on the bed with her knees tucked to her chest. Tears fell from her gold eyes like drops from the sun. Soft whimpers cut through the sound of groaning from the ship. Away from prying eyes she let all her emotions go. No longer did she have to keep up the facade of being strong and confident. Here, in her room, she was just an eleven year old girl leaving her home behind. 

Suddenly there was a loud noise and the ship rattled. Killarra jumped off the bed and rushed to the door, only to have it open with a loud clang before she could get to it. She fell backwards, landing not too gracefully on her back. A large shadow fell over her. It was a man she’d never seen before. He had the look of an assassin about him. Her stomach fell to her gut. She knew who had sent him. She knew what was about to happen. 

 

Killarra closed her eyes and accepted death. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Iroh read the letter sent by hawk over and over again. No. No this couldn’t have happened. Not so soon after…. 

“What is it Uncle?” Zuko asked from across the table. He still had the bandage across his face. His hair had all been shaved except for the ponytail at the back of his head. 

“It’s news..from your father.” Iroh reluctantly handed the letter to his nephew. As he watched Zuko read it he could practically feel the grief coming from the boy. He slammed the paper down on the table before stalking out of the room. He heard a door slam a few rooms away. Iroh didn’t move to follow him. He knew he needed his space. Besides, he too had suffered a loss like this. He took the letter in his hands again, reading it again. 

“General Iroh and Prince Zuko, 

It is with regret that I must inform you that Princess Killarra has passed. 

Shortly after Prince Zuko was banished Princess Azula and Princess Killarra challenged each other to an Agni Kai. Princess Killarra was victorious. She wished to leave the Fire Nation. Two days later as her ship was leaving port it was attacked. The entire crew was slaughtered. The ship sunk. Only a few bodies have been recovered. 

This appears to be the work of a single assassin, who took credit for the attack. He himself had freely admitted to killing the Princess. Her body has yet to be recovered. He will face justice for his actions. 

In this time of morning Fire Lord Ozai has remained firm in his decision that should Prince Zuko find the Avatar, he will be allowed to return. But until then he is to stay away. “


	4. Three Years

Three years. 

That’s how long it had been since Zuko had seen his father, his home, and Killarra. The wound caused by her death was still fresh even after all this time. He often wondered what would’ve happened if he hadn’t talked during that war meeting. He wouldn’t have the scar. He wouldn’t have been banished. Killarra wouldn’t have died. 

“Aren’t you cold?” Mai asked, coming up behind him. 

“I’ve got a lot on my mind.” He answered simply, “It’s been so long. Almost three since...I’ve been home. I wonder what’s changed. I wonder how I’ve changed.” 

“I just asked if you were cold I didn’t ask for your whole life story.” Mai said with an air of sarcasm. It seemed mean but the way she put it only felt...teasing. She draped an arm around his shoulder, “I know you miss her. I do too. The palace will probably feel just a little more empty than you remember.” 

“What did they do with her room?” He looked down at his hands. 

“They kept it the same. All her paintings are still there. Her journal too I think, though no one’s dared open it.” Mai scoffed, “Not even Azula. Apparently it’s bad luck to read that sort of stuff once a person’s died.” She paused a little as if thinking, “I...don’t think she’d mind you reading it. She always liked you the most.” 

“I guess.” 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Standing above the cheering crowd, Zuko should’ve felt proud. But he didn’t. He found himself unable to feel anything but apprehension and some form of fear. And yet he had to keep his face passive and his head held high. 

Now he sat in the very courtyard that his mother had gotten the news that his cousin had died. The place where the three children had played blissfully unaware of the goings on outside the walls of the palace. He tossed chunks of bread in the water for the turtle ducks to eat. A shadow fell over them and the birds fled. 

“You seem so downcast.” Azula purred, “Has Mai gotten to you already? Though actually Mai has been in a good mood lately.” 

“I haven’t seen Dad yet.” Zuko sighed, “I haven’t seen him in three years. Since I was banished.” 

“So what?” 

“So, I didn’t capture the avatar.” 

“Who cares? The avatar is dead.” 

Silence. 

“Unless you think he somehow miraculously survived?” 

Zuko’s memory flashed back to ba sing se, when Katara told him of the spirit water from the north pole. Maybe…

“No. There’s no way he could’ve survived.” 

“Well then I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.” Azula shrugged. He didn’t know why, but that statement sounded very...sinister. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the outside Zuko looked as calm and composed as ever. But on the inside, he felt like he was going to throw up. Was the hallway towards the throne room always this long and imposing or was it just him? He stood in front of the curtain, his stomach in his shoes and heart in his throat. A deep breath. Then two. Then three. He pushed it open almost like ripping a bandage off. 

There, sitting amid the ever burning fire, was Fire Lord Ozai. His father. 

Zuko walked to the center of the room, falling first to his knees and then bringing his forehead to the floor. 

“You’ve been away for quite a long time.” His father’s voice was still the same thunderous roar that he remembered, “I see the weight of your travels has changed you.” He stood, walking through the flames, “You have redeemed yourself my son.” As he looked up he heard two words he never thought he’d hear again, “Welcome home.” 

As his father began pacing in front of him he felt the urge to vomit come upon him again. But he shoved it down deep inside him. Like his grief when Killarra died. 

“I am proud of you, Prince Zuko. I am proud because you and your sister conquered ba sing se. I am proud because when your loyalty was tested by your treacherous uncle you did the right thing and captured the traitor.” 

Zuko couldn’t help but flinch at that. He himself was not proud of that moment. 

“And I am proudest of all of your most legendary accomplishment.” Wait what? What was he talking about, “You slayed the avatar.” Oh…..

“What did you hear?” Zuko struggled to keep the waver out of his voice. 

“Azula told me everything.” His father walked around him so he could no longer see him, “She said she was amazed and impressed with your power and ferocity at the moment of truth.” He stopped pacing and his tone turned almost….sad, “Killarra would have been proud of you as well, were she still among us.” 

“Yes father, I am sure she would be.” The words didn’t feel right on his tongue. He didn’t kill the avatar Azula had. Why did she tell their father it was him? What was her game? 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night Zuko found himself restless and unable to sleep. He also found himself standing in front of the door that led to Killarra’s room. More than anything he wanted to open the door and find her painting again. But that wasn’t possible. Not anymore. It felt almost wrong to enter her room. Yet at the same time he felt it was necessary. He had to say a proper goodbye. 

Her room was just as she had left it the day she died. Paintings were strewn about with brushes piled onto a chair near an easel. Her bed was made with her crown and her journal placed onto one of the pillows. He walked over to it, gently picking the book up. His heart squeezed in his chest. As he turned to leave he almost put the journal back where it had laid for three years, but he remembered Mai’s words. 

“I...don’t think she’d mind you reading it. She always liked you the most.”


	5. Choices To Make

The first time Team Avatar heard of Princess Killarra was when Aang enrolled in that fire nation school. 

“It was three years ago today that our beloved Princess Killarra, youngest daughter of Fire Lord Ozai, passed away.” The headmistress said in a grave tone, “On this day treacherous assassins attacked her highness while leaving the harbor. Our late Princess was the epitome of grace and nobility. Her highness had overcome many obstacles in her life, one of them being her fragile health. Nevertheless, when the time came to defend her honor she showed a ferocity and strength second to only her father, The Fire Lord.” 

Aang could only blink and stare at nothing. He knew of Zuko’s sister, Azula, but Killarra? Never in a million years did he think the Fire Prince had a second sister. And one that was dead too. A lot about the prince made a little more sense now. He himself had been angry and in pain once he found out what the Fire Nation did to his people. He understood at least a little of what losing a loved one feels like. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Killarra’s journal detailed much of the events following their mother’s disappearance. It revealed what she was prepared to do to protect him. That one time she almost set the back of the palace on fire on accident. That she often thought about the war and how maybe...maybe it was wrong. She recognized their father’s evil and wished to be away from it. She’d always wanted to see the world. But now….she’d never get the chance. 

Zuko set the journal down when he heard footsteps approaching his room. They at the house on Ember Island. Killarra’s room had been untouched there as well. The door opened and Azula walked in. 

“You’ve been cooped up in here all day.” She crossed her arms over her chest, “What could possibly have been doing in here?” 

“Reading.” Zuko shrugged. 

“Sounds boring.” She raised an eyebrow. 

“Azula, do you miss her?” He asked. 

“Miss who?” 

“Killarra.” 

“I don’t know.” Azula sighed and plopped down on a nearby chair, “I wasn’t as close to her as you.” 

“But do you?” He laid back with a sigh. 

“Sometimes. I miss fighting with her all the time.” He could hear the soft smile in her voice, “At least she could keep up with me.” 

“Your arguments were pretty fun to watch.” Zuko laughed. 

“I wonder what she’d be doing now if she were alive.” Azula stood and began walking out. 

“Me too..” 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

He was confused. He didn’t know what to do. 

Zuko found himself standing in Killarra’s room again. 

“I know you probably can’t hear me. I don’t know if you would want to. I know I should be happy back home. Where Father talks to me and accepts me. But it doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like it’s what I’m supposed to be doing. What should I do?” 

He fell to his knees. The journal fell out of its place up his sleeve. It landed face down on one of the middle pages. Zuko picked it up. He couldn’t help but read what was on the page. 

Father. No. Ozai. Ozai banished Zuko today. How could he? He was only defending our nation’s soldiers who were going to be sacrificed! I will not stand for this. 

I am going to talk to him. Demand that he look me in the eye and tell me why. If Azula is there too...then maybe I could leave too. 

I won’t stay with the man who would challenge his own son, a thirteen year old boy, to an Agni Kai and banish him for speaking out of turn. 

If I can push Azula into insulting me, I can challenge her to an Agni Kai. I will fight her. I will beat her. I will renounce my title as princess and leave the Fire Nation. 

Maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll catch up with Zuko’s ship. They leave today. 

From now on I am no longer Ozai’s daughter. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The Day of Black Sun. 

Killarra’s birthday. 

Zuko removed his crown and his official clothes. He sat at the stationary, smoothing out the paper. At his side was Killarra’s journal. Briefly he glanced at it. She’d be fourteen if she had made it out of the harbor. The question Azula had offhandedly thrown out, what Killarra would be doing if she were alive. He knew the answer now. 

She’d be fighting alongside the Avatar. To stop their father from completing the plans their great grandfather laid out a hundred years ago. 

 

He finished the note that he was writing, waiting a few moments for it to dry. Picking up the journal, he flipped to the last page. Surprisingly, he found it was a letter. To him. 

Zuko, 

I know you probably won’t ever get to read this, or maybe I’ll tell you this myself when I find you. But I have to write it out now. Get it off my chest. 

These last few years haven’t been easy, with Mom being gone and all. Suddenly we were thrust into an entirely different world than the one we’d grown accustomed to. The night that Mom vanished she told me to protect you from Father and Azula. I’m sorry that I couldn’t keep that promise the day of the Agni Kai. My illness prevented me from stopping it. You know I wouldn’t have let Father hurt you. 

You’ve taught me a lot over the eleven years I’ve been alive. When everyone still saw me as fragile and frail you helped me grow stronger. I’ll have you know that I was able to beat Azula in an Agni Kai. You should’ve seen the look on everyone’s faces. Father’s favored child, beaten by the weakest. But I shouldn’t brag. I was only able to do it because of all you taught me in our spare time. 

Thank you, Zuko, and see you soon. Hopefully. 

Killarra. 

With tears in his eyes he closed the journal. He slipped it into the bag he was packing. He rolled up the note, tying a ribbon around it. Carefully he made his way to Mei’s place. For a moment as he stood in one of the rooms that overlooked the harbor, he gazed at a painting of he and Mei. 

“I’m sorry Mei.” He whispered to no one. 

Zuko then went back to his room. On his bed he set up portraits of his mother and Killarra. He knelt in front of them with his head down. 

“I know I’ve made some bad choices. But today, I’m going to set thing right.” 

Taking his twin swords and a bag of necessities, he left his room for the final time.


	6. Face You

Zuko felt the same apprehension and pit in his stomach as he did when he first came home. But now there was an edge of determination and purpose. He would not be afraid. He would not back down. 

“I’m ready to face you.” 

He pushed open the door. His father set down the cup of tea he was drinking. 

“Prince Zuko.” His tone held no tenderness. Like his son was a mere object. Yet another one of Killarra’s many observations in her journal, clutched in his right hand, “What are you doing here? Why are you here?” 

“I’m here to tell the truth.” Zuko leveled his gaze with his father’s. 

“Telling the truth in the middle of an eclipse.” His lip raised slightly in either amusement or derision. Probably both, “This should be interesting.” He waved a hand and the numerous guards filed out of the chamber. 

“First of all, in Ba Sing Sae, it was Azula who took down the Avatar. Not Me.” 

“Why would she lie to me about that?” 

“Because the Avatar is not dead. He survived.” 

“What!?” 

“In fact, he’s probably leading this invasion. He could be on his way here right now.” 

“Get out!” His father rose to his feet with a snarl, “Get out of my sight if you know what’s good for you!” 

“That’s another thing.” Zuko scowled, “I’m not taking orders from you anymore.” 

“You will obey me or this defiant breath will be your last!” He made a move towards him, with his left hand he drew out one of his swords, pointing it at his father’s chest. 

“Think again.” He growled, “I am going to speak my mind. And you are going to listen.” He held up the journal, “Just like you listened to her.” 

“Where did you get that.” His father’s face twisted into anger as he sat back down. 

“Where do you think?” Zuko shot back, “I’ve read what she wrote. Everything. For so long, all I wanted was for you to love me. To accept me. I thought it was my honor that I wanted. But really, I just wanted to please you. You, my father, who banished me just for talking out of turn. My father, who challenged me, a thirteen year old boy to an Agni Kai. How could you possibly justify a duel with a child!?” 

“It was to teach you respect.” His father snapped. 

“It was cruel! And it was wrong!” He spat. 

“Then you have learned nothing.” 

“No! I’ve learned everything! And I’ve learned it on my own.” He looked down at the journal, “Growing up we were taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history. And somehow, the war was our way of sharing our greatness with the world. What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation. They don’t see our greatness, they hate us! And we deserve it. We’ve created an era of fear in the world, and if we don’t want the world to destroy itself, we need to replace it with an era of peace.” 

“Your uncle has gotten to you hasn’t he?” His father’s tone was mocking. Belittling. 

“Not only him.” He once again lifted the journal towards the man he once looked up to, “But Killarra as well. She saw what this war truly is. What you truly are. That’s why she renounced you after beating Azula. That’s why she left.” 

“You dare speak ill of your sister!?” His father’s amused expression turned once more to anger. 

“No. I’m speaking with her words.” Zuko drew the journal to his chest, “After I leave here today, I’m going to free Uncle Iroh from his prison, and I’m going to beg for his forgiveness. He’s the one who’s been a real father to me.” Once more his father let out a laugh. 

“Oh that’s just beautiful.” He taunted, “Maybe he can pass down to you the ways of tea and failure.” 

“But I’ve come to an even more important decision.” He went on, ignoring the biting words, “I’m going to join the Avatar and I’m going to help him defeat you.” 

“Really?” His father raised an eyebrow with a smirk, “Since you’re a full blown traitor now and you want me gone why wait? I’m powerless, you’ve got your swords. Why don’t you just do it now?” He was baiting him. Just like Azula always did. They really were the same person. 

“Because I know my own destiny.” Zuko put the sword back with it’s twin, “Taking you down is the Avatar’s destiny. I know that if she were still here, Killarra would make the same choice.” He turned away, “Goodbye.” 

“Coward!” His father shouted, “You think you’re brave enough to face me but you’ll only do it during the eclipse! If you have any real courage you’ll stick around until the sun comes out. Don’t you want to know what happened to your mother?” He stopped in his tracks. His grip on the journal tightened. 

“What happened that night!?” He demanded. 

“My father, Fire Lord Azulon, had commanded me to do the unthinkable.” The tone used was like he was describing a setting in a book, “To you, my own son. And I was going to do it. Your mother found out, and swore she would protect you at any cost. She knew I wanted the throne and she proposed a plan. A plan in which I would become Fire Lord, and your life would be spared. Your mother did vicious, treasonous things that night, she knew the consequences and accepted them. For her treason, she was banished.” 

“So she’s alive…” Zuko tucked the journal in his belt. 

“Perhaps.” His father shrugged indifferently before hardening his expression, “But now I see that banishment is far too merciful a punishment for treason. Your penalty will be far steeper.” Suddenly he lashed out at him with a bolt of lightning. Zuko followed Iroh’s teachings, that felt so long ago, letting the lightning flow through him like water. Then, he shot it back towards his father. Without waiting to see if he’d hit his mark or not he turned and ran. 

Leaving everything behind.


	7. Sun Warriors

Zuko did as he’d told his father, he joined the Avatar. Sure it took a bit for them to trust him, and Katara definitely didn’t. But he was here and he was teaching Aang firebending. 

Or at least he was trying to. 

His inner fire just didn’t seem to be there anymore. It just smoldered in the back of his chest, refusing to burn like the most stubborn of logs. What was wrong with him? If he couldn’t get his inner fire back then Aang would be left without a firebending teacher. 

So they went to Sun Warrior temple. 

On the way there Zuko was rereading Killarra’s journal, picking out details he had missed the first time. 

“Hey, Zuko, I’ve been meaning to ask.” Aang glanced back at him curiously, “What’s that book you’re carrying around?” 

“It’s my sister’s journal.” He said softly. 

“Azula’s?” The look on the younger kid’s face was kind of hilarious. He shook his head. 

“No. My youngest sister. Killarra.” Pain lanced at his chest as he thought of her, “She’s...she’s gone now.” 

“Oh. Yeah.” Aang looked down at his hands, “I heard something about that when I was in an Fire Nation school.” 

“They tell people about that?” 

“Well they said that she was killed by assassins. And that’s just about it.” 

“She challenged Azula to an Agni Kai, and won.” 

“Azula!?” 

“Yeah. Then she renounced her title and left. But I guess they didn’t put that in the history books.” 

“Yeah I...guess not.” 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The colors that the dragons showed them reminded Zuko of a painting Killarra had done. One of her first. He and Aang stood and stared in awe, visions flashing across their eyes. As soon as the fire faded the dragons returned to their caves. 

“Their fire was beautiful.” Zuko said as they walked down the steps, “I saw so many colors. Colors I never imagined.” 

“Like firebending harmony.” Aang agreed. 

“Yes.” The Sun Warrior chief nodded, “They judged you. And gave you visions of the meaning of firebending.” 

“I can’t believe there are still living dragons.” Zuko shook his head, “My Uncle Iroh said he faced the last dragon, and killed it.” 

“So your uncle lied.” 

“Actually it wasn’t a total lie.” The chief stroked his chin, “Iroh was one of the last outsiders to face the masters, they deemed him worthy and passed the secret onto him as well. He returned once more after that, with a sickly child a few hours old. The masters deemed her worthy, and passed into her, life.” 

“He...must’ve lied to protect them.” Zuko stood in shock, “But who was the baby he brought? What happened to her?” 

“She would return here, just like her uncle, eleven years later.” The chief stared up at the platform high above them now, “Her inner fire was in turmoil, as was yours. The masters once more judged her, and like you she received the secrets as well.” 

“What...what was her name?” He asked softly, his breath caught in his throat. 

“Killarra. The child’s name is Killarra.” 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Was it possible? Was she...alive? 

Zuko sat staring into the fire, in deep thought. What the Sun Warrior chief had said, it had to mean that she’d survived right? But wouldn’t she have tried to contact him by now? Surly she wouldn’t let him think she was dead for three years would she? He took the journal out of his pocket, staring at it in the flickering light. 

“Hey Zuko, can I talk to you for a second?” Sokka asked out of the blue. 

The two walked away from the fire, towards a ledge, “So what’s up?” He asked. 

“If someone was captured by the Fire Nation, where would they be taken?” 

“What do you mean? Who was captured?” 

“When the invasion plan failed some of our troops were taken. I just wanna know where they might be.” 

“I can’t tell you…” 

“What? Why not?” 

“Trust me, knowing would make you feel worse.” Zuko turned to walk away. A firm hand on his shoulder stopped him. 

“It’s my dad.” Sokka said quietly, “He was captured too. I need to know what I put him through.” 

“It’s not good Sokka.” He shook his head. 

“Please.” The boy closed his eyes, seeming to brace himself for whatever he was going to hear. 

“My guess is, they were taken to The Boiling Rock.” Zuko faced him fully. 

“What’s that?” Sokka asked. 

“It’s the highest security prison in the Fire Nation.” He explained, feeling his heart beating hard in his chest, “It’s on an island in the middle of a boiling lake. It’s inescapable.” 

“So where is this place?” He didn’t like the determination he heard in the other’s tone. 

“Why do you need to know? What are you planning?” 

“Nothing….” Uhuh real convincing water tribe boy, “Man you’re so paranoid.” 

“It’s in the middle of a volcano between here and the Fire Nation.” Zuko’s frown deepened, “You guys actually flew right past it on your way here.” 

“Thank’s Zuko.” Sokka yawned and stretched in an unconvincing display, “Just knowing makes me feel better.” 

Zuko wished he could feel the same.


End file.
